Scrubs

Whenever I see someone wearing scrubs in the grocery store, I vividly imagine what those scrubs may have come in contact with that day. Human excrements, bloody guts, brain chunks, bone shards, flesh-eating bacteria...you know, the usual. Then, as Mr. Scrubs and I reach for the same apple and his shoulder brushes up against my arm, I recoil, shiver a little, and back away slowly.

That apple is all yours Scrubby Man. Me? I’m going to take a shower.