Mr. (Not So) Suave

A delivery man in his early twenties comes into the lab I’m working in. He sets down his boxes and instead of leaving like every other delivery man does, he proceeds to start looking around the lab. He sees me and three other girls and gets the brilliant idea to morph into Mr. I-Pick-Up-All-The-Ladies-With-My-Opening-Lines and decides he’ll strike up a conversation. Shoot, that’s how he picks up the ladies at the bar, right? Hmmm…what should he say to these women so that they’ll think he’s interested in what they do and think he's really smart? Well, Mr. Suave sees some diagrams of mice sitting there on the table and decides that it would be a good idea to start a conversation about this. He proceeds to ask the following question:

“So, is there really a difference between a rat and a mouse? Like, aren’t they the same animal?”


--silence--


Thoughts running through my head:
1) Um, what?
2) I know the phrase "no question is a dumb question," but…
3) If a rat and a mouse were the same animal, don’t you think it would be called by the same name?
4) Does this question keep you up at night?
5) Do you ever successfully pick up women?

Answers we give to Mr. Suave, followed by his responses:
1) US: “No, no. They’re different animals.” HIM: “Oh, OK. That’s what I thought.”
2) US: “Rats are huge. Mice are small.” HIM: --silence--
3) US: “They can’t breed together. It’s like a cat trying to breed with a dog.” HIM: “OH, oh yeah. Right, ok.” --starts heading towards the door--
4) US: “They even have different numbers of chromosomes.”
HIM: “Oh, that’s a big word.” --freaks out and leaves the room--

The question I’m dying to ask Mr. Suave Delivery Man the next time I see him:

“So…the type of mail you deliver…and email…those the same things, right?”