The Biggest Gainer

NBC has so graciously given us the TV show The Biggest Loser, where a lot of overweight people have doughnuts staring them down, yet they do five-a-day workouts to shave off the pounds. However, why should just the overweight people of America get a TV show? That’s discrimination, and we just can’t have that.

I propose we create a new show. We’ll call it…The Biggest Gainer. This ingenious concept for a show would involve selecting a panel of extremely underweight people (this could be filmed in Hollywood, they grow ‘em skin and bones out there) who would be highly urged to gain weight. Different from The Biggest Loser, they would have rice cakes and watermelon staring them down, yet would be forced to sit on the couch and eat potato chips five times a day. Finally, in the end, the person who gained the most body weight and percentage fat would win. Then, for the NBC season-finale-blowout-extraordinaire, the winners of The Biggest Loser and The Biggest Gainer would duke it out head-to-head on the set of American Gladiator.

I should quit my day job and go to work for NBC.

Although, twenty bucks says they already have this show in the pipeline…